Thoughts, Uncategorized

Thank you 2016!

2016 hasn’t been the best year for anyone really. There have been lots of celebrity deaths and devastation worldwide like; Syria and the Orlando shooting, to name a few but I wanted to focus on the things that I was thankful for that happened this year. I was surprised by how many amazing things happened to me.


Thank you 2016. Thank you for being the year I discovered Hamilton and the wonder that it is. Thank you for being the year Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them came out. It was the film that help me manage to convert my friend into Harry Potter and where I found another celebrity crush in Eddie Redmayne. I want to say Thank you for being the year we got the Cursed Child play but I’m still not sure about that one. Thank you for being the year I introduced my mum to Supernatural which she loves. Thank you for being the year I got WordPress which has been a great outlet for me.

Thank you 2016 for being the year we didn’t lose our cat and waking us up to his weight issues. We weren’t sure he was going to survive and now he’s on a diet to get him better. Thank you for being the year I met another adorable dog called Lois. She is adorable and eats everything but I love her for it.

Thank you for being the year I met my family who lives in Milton Keynes. They are the most loving and supportive people I have have ever met more so than my family down where I am. I also got to meet my grandad for the first time since I was born. Thank you for being the year my auntie got married, seeing the love in my aunties eyes when she married her husband will stay with me for a long time. The ceremony was full of handmade stuff done by my auntie and my grandma and it was a beautiful thing to see. Thank you for being the year I got to add two more cousins to my life a bright and creative 8 year old who has the power to bring down the world if she wanted to and a 14 year old girl who has more love in her heart than anyone I’ve known her age. These two are people I want to learn more from next year.

Thank you for being the year I finished college with the grades I wanted. I passed every course higher than I thought I would. Thank you for being the year I finally stayed in touch with someone after school/college because that gave me two amazing friends who understand me and we have created our own little support network for each other. They’ve helped me a lot with my mental health as well more than they will ever know. Thank you for being the year I pushed out of my comfort zone and met up with people who I wanted to see but was worried for whatever reason. That’s helped me keep a lot of friends I might have lost due to inactivity. Thank you for being the year I got my apprenticeship with on the 12th will be 6 months since I started in July. I have already learnt so much and met some amazing people who are so clever and experienced in life. The things they teach me I can’t always learn at college.

Thank you 2016 for not being a great year but a year that taught me a lot about what was important to me as a person and also who is important to me. Thank you for being the year of Self love.



My Childhood Careers

When I was younger I was convinced I was Hermione Granger. I thought I was super smart and that if I tried really hard and worked hard I would succeed with what ever I wanted to do. (Apparently I couldn’t succeed in being a witch or go to Hogwarts but it’s not all bad). I used her as inspiration to pass everything I could. I know I’m not Hermione Granger now but she was a role model for me and Emma Watson now is such a role model for me and other women (and men). She was my inspiration to go to college (Before it became compulsory) and when I was younger I wanted to go to university because of her. (Side note- I’m currently in a great apprenticeship instead but that’s not Hermione’s fault haha).

However, I was also convinced I was a spy and I used to play spies with my cousins and Spy Kids really didn’t help to stop this ‘dream’ of mine to become a spy. I look back and laugh at this, we used to follow grown ups around like my mum or auntie and spy on their conversations and report back to the others. It was really fun and I was super nosy back then.

I wanted to be a singer. I can sing, I don’t like to admit it much and I think it makes me sound like I’m boasting or like I’m a dick. However, I have been told I am good at singing in the particular songs people have heard me sing. I love Broadway music and I wanted to become either a star on Broadway or a popstar. My mum says as soon as I could talk I could sing which sounds a little unlikely but I have been known to sing in my sleep so I guess anything is possible.

I was convinced I wanted to be a plumber for about a year this was in year four (I was 8). I thought plumbers get a good amount or money and they are in high demand . I thought this would be a great job as they were needed and people would always need them and I could earn enough money to provide for my family. This dream died when I found out I would have to work with blocked toilets. It did however help me realise what I really wanted to do with my life.

As soon as I could use computers I have been helping my family use theirs or fixing their small issues and then leading to bigger issues. I decided as a result of this I wanted to fix computers. At fix sort of like how a first line support person would help a customer with an issue. It then developed to more hands on with software until someone who was fixing my mums computer saw me fascinated and decided to show me a little bit about what he was doing. I was transfixed. This was what I wanted to do and this made me love it more. I then met an amazing guy who had his own IT consultant business who let me come by Wednesdays after college and fix machines with him and some of the other guys who worked there. It was great I learnt a lot and there was always pizza. That’s when I decided I wanted to fix computers in a more hardware sense. I wanted to get down into those machines and take out parts, fix it, replace parts. I applied for an IT engineer apprenticeship about 2 weeks after college had finished and I got the job about a month after I finished college completely. I am five months in and have found I am actually really good at being an electrician or in some aspects after having a lot of Electrical safety etc training my trainer said he saw potential in me and that I should pursue more of that side of things. (Hermione is still here and we are both very excited for what our future holds whatever it may be).

Some people grow up knowing exactly what they want to be when they grow up. Some people learn as they grow up what they excel at and pursue that when they grow up. But some people have no idea what they want to be when they grown up when they get to leaving school and that’s ok too. It takes everyone time to figure what they want to pursue as a career. If I’d stuck to the first thing I wanted to be I’d be a witch or a spy (these both still sound really cool) but instead I played to my strengths but only once I had found what they were.


Mental Health, Thoughts

My Body

Hi Kittens,

I’m about to become really honest with you all as I am in most posts. And it’s going to get really personal now.

I was born a long baby of course I had baby fat most people do. Growing up I was skinny very skinny and tall. Now I am 18 years old and I am 5″4 and shorter than most of the people I know and I am a size 10 (UK) in T-Shirts  and a size 12 (UK) in trousers. I’m still a small person, my steel toe cap boots for work are a whole size to big I have to wear two pairs of socks (Ones a fluffy pair) and insoles. I also had to get my carpenter trousers for work taken in by my granny as very few stores sell those sort of trousers for women and if they do they are very limited. I shouldn’t be bothered about my body right?

I am currently  52kg (8st 3lbs). This doesn’t bother me that much. I’ve never been someone who’s cared about weight….that is until I looked in a mirror while I was off at training for work at the hotel while changing into my pj’s. The sight made me cry I looked a mess. My stomach had rolls and my waist was all irregular and not how I usually look. I looked unhealthy and tired, my face was a little spotty and my hair was limp. I felt disgusted with myself, why was I so unhealthy why have I allowed myself to eat only crap and unhealthy food instead of regular healthy well rounded  meals.

I can’t tell if I’m being responsible or destructive with my thoughts but I know that I want to become healthier, drink more water, reach my 5 a day target every single day, exercise, eat less ready meals. I also panic that I  might end up have bad cholesterol or a bad heart if I don’t look after my body properly.


(Can I just add that I in no way am saying that people bigger than me are unhealthy. I am just saying that for myself and the way my body usually is, is unhealthy from the way I have let my lifestyle become so unhealthy. There is no perfect size only a size that you are comfortable in. If you weigh less than 52kg that’s ok too skinny people can be perfectly healthy too. If you weigh more than 52kg that’s ok as well that can healthy too. At the end of the day as long as you love yourself then nothing else matters).


Mental Health

My favourite Mental Health App

Hi Everyone,

I suffer with Anxiety and mild depression which flairs up constantly. It happens a lot at work which is very inconvenient for me.

I have an app called BoosterBuddy its free on the app store and Google Play store. It is one of the best apps I have ever used to help with my anxiety. When you first go into the app it asks you to choose a buddy, put in what medication you have to take and what your symptoms are such as; Initiation and Motivation, Do you sometimes have a hard time getting up and starting your day or getting started on doing things? Oversleeping, Lack of sleep, Depression, Mood too High, Anxiety, Voices, Delusions, Alcohol and drug use. It also tells you that ‘if you think you have a mental health problem but aren’t getting help make sure you talk to a doctor for advice.’ You are able to change your answers when ever you want to or whenever they change.

There is also a Crisis plan which if you are thinking of harming yourself or someone else to call an emergency number for the area in my case its 999 or to your nearest emergency room. It also tells you a hospital you could go to which you put in yourself so its a hospital you know and trust. This is the initial thing that comes up in the Crisis plan, If the previous information in the crisis plan is not what you need you click on the continue to Crisis plan button. Here there are several buttons you can click on ‘My Coping Statement’, ‘My Coping Methods’,  ‘My favourite Coping Methods’, you can make your own and also choose from ones that are already on the app for various different symptoms that you may have, ‘Crisis Contacts’ I currently have my mum in there for a crisis which I need to change as she is often at work if I have a crisis and that’s not helpful to me, And finally there is ‘This is an Emergency’ I have never had to choose this one but it takes you back to the front page of the Crisis Plan.

After you have first put in all your information and you then go into the app for help later on you will come to a ‘How are you doing today?’ page. This asks how you are doing that day. It goes from Good, Not Great, Struggling, Crisis. depending on how you feel will depend on what quests you get to wake up your buddy. You get coins for each quest you complete which you can spend on hats, Glasses, scarves anything to dress your buddy with, You also get XP points to go up a level after you finish all three quests. When you click on a quest it will ask you to do something which either you can do and when the circle on the ‘I did it!’button fills up you can click that you have done it or if you can’t do it right now then you can click the ‘I can’t do this now’ button. Some you have to fill in like ‘Play a game’ you have to write down a board game or video game you could play with a friend. I wrote down Trivial Pursuit because I’m getting it for Christmas and I have the Harry Potter extension and I can’t wait to play with my friends.


(I will post screenshots below of the app).