Thoughts, Uncategorized

Hi Mum

Hi mum,

You had me when you were 22. You were a single parent and your mother disowned you and you kept me. You knew that my dad was either the guy you were with then or another guy and it turns out it was the other guy. You told him and he didn’t want to be involved in our lives. You made sure I had food every day of my life and you sacrificed so many things, you life was hardly all figured out before you had me and afterwards even less so but you managed and you muddled through.

I always had clothes on my back, I may not have been able to have the newest toy out but I got to go to the library and borrow books and when I did get a new toy like the baby Annabelle I asked for three Christmases in a row I always took care of it and made sure that It didn’t get broken. My cousins in contrast to me got anything they wanted and as soon as I got something like the baby Annabelle they instantly had one too. I remember getting a Nintendo DS lite and being so happy that I could finally fit in with all my friends and instantly my cousins had one. I saved up all my money to get an iPod as our MP3 player kept breaking and I wanted something new of my own, it was the happiest day I can remember going to Sainsbury’s picking out my new iPod and then going to the checkout and paying for it with my own money. I never felt like I missed out on much except spending time with you. The one thing I never got was time with you, you always worked late nights so I was always at my Granny’s and when you were off work well then Granny would babysit me so you could go out.

Our relationship is strained sometimes, we don’t communicate as well as we should. You get tired and irritable and I get annoyed by how petty you can be when you don’t take into consideration that I work more then you do and I’m tired too. I work two jobs in addition to doing a full time college course but because you do late nights 4 days a week my problems and tiredness doesn’t exist.

I don’t hate you. I love you more than anything and I always will because you’re my mum and we have been through a lot of stuff together but you make it hard to like you sometimes.

I love you Mum

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Fandom, Thoughts

20 Years of Harry Potter

As it’s 20 years since the Harry Potter and the Philosophers Stone Book was first published I decided to write a post for it.

It been 20 years since the first Harry Potter book was published and a lot has changed in that time. A whole book series follow the Harry Potter story, These books were made into films, Three small books which were extra to the Harry Potter story were published two for comic relief, A play was written, and a new series of films are coming out currently for Fantastic Beasts. Not to mention a lot of merchandise from T-Shirts to Games to sweets.

Harry Potter helped my love of reading and made me strive to read anything I could. I still reread Harry Potter every year because it feels like home and I always want to go back there when I can. I’ve made a lot of friends thanks to Harry Potter whether they are online friends or real life friends. It has also brought me out of my shell more and helped me with my confidence which I struggled with a lot growing up and even now sometimes. It also helped me escape the bullying I had all throughout my childhood. Harry Potter will and always will be my safe place and I am forever grateful that it’s in my life and will be forever.

Thank you for reading my thoughts about 20 years of Harry Potter.

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Thoughts, Uncategorized

Distant

via Daily Prompt: Distant/ 

Do I seem distant to you? Why? Because I’m not the one who always messages you? Because I work 6 days a week and always ‘blow you off’. Or maybe it’s because I don’t want to go out drinking until super late when I have work the next day and you don’t have responsibilities.

Do I really seem distant to you? or am I just quiet because all you do is drown me in your problems without ever asking me about mine.

Am I distant or do you just not understand me.

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Thoughts, Uncategorized

5 things not to ask me 30 minutes before I finish work

1. Could you just quickly do this job for me before we finish.

2. Don’t forget that report.

3. Only 30 minutes to go for you I get to leaves now.

4. we need your help downstairs it’ll only take roughly half an hour.

5. We’ve just found out we’ve got visitors you need to help tidy up everything right now.

(These are all things people have said to me when there is only half an hour left of the work day )

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Thoughts

Hi Dad

I’ve been wanting to meet you since I realised all the other little boys and girls had a dad and I didn’t. I thought about how meeting you would go but instead I was too excited and at 4 I ran up to you at your work and told you that you were my dad. My mum then had to explain everything to you and that I was telling the truth. You quit your job. I thought one day you would come round and we would get to know each other and talk and you would become a part of my life. That never happened. Dads are supposed to look after their daughters and make sure no one hurts her and instead you hurt me the most. You tried to snatch me from my mum twice causing her panic and worry as she did everything she could to get me away from you and to somewhere safe.

You know those families where the child alternates between days at one parents house and days at the others. Or even when they go to the other parents at the weekend. I thought we would do that. I thought you would want me to join your family, you have a wife and her 4 sons but you don’t even want to see your own daughter.

Do you know what a dad does or what they’re supposed to do? I don’t have a clue. I have never known and will never know what having a dad is like.

I added you on Facebook when I was 13/14 I don’t know why I did it or what I thought it would accomplish. What would I write? Hi Dad it’s your daughter can you send me some corn for Farmville? It just didn’t seem right having the first proper communication on Facebook. I sent him Happy Father’s Day 5 years ago and he still never replied. He told my mum he never got involved in my life because she was doing such s great job and he didn’t want to impose. Yet he was happy to send happy fish requests or whatever other games he played on there.

Did you have a dad? Was he more involved than you? Did he teach you more than just how to be disappointed and get hurt?

I wanted too much from you but I guess in the end all I really wanted was your love and for you to be there for me.

I guess you’ll never know me and I’ll never know you and that will be both of our loses.

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Fandom, Uncategorized

Top Five Favourite Female Actors

Emma Watson – I love the Harry Potter films and I absolutely adored Hermione. Emma Watson was my favourite actress before I even realised it. She is a great role model, she has done amazing work for heforshe etc. She is great at acting and she’s good at singing. She’s just amazing.

Felicia Day – I love The guild and also her character on supernatural. She is an amazing woman who proves that’s you can make it if you keep trying and to not let being a woman change any of that. She also a massive geek and she helped me to be proud of who I am.

Amy Poehler – I absolutely loved Parks and Recreation, Amy poehler was an amazing actress in this and I fell in love with her character Leslie Knope. She’s funny but also was a fantastic role model in the show.

Sarah Michelle Gellar – I loved Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy was a strong independent woman who was so badass and I loved her growing up she was fierce and I wanted to be like her. I also loved her in Scooby-Doo she managed to make Daphne not a damsel in distress but a black belt and resourceful with her make up in that cage and getting them all out safely. She doesn’t get enough credit for the characters she played and she is a really nice genuine actress.

Reese Witherspoon – I loved Legally Blonde both the musical and the film. I thought that Reese brought Elle Woods to us in a perfect way. I just love that she was portrayed as a typical blonde hot girl at first and then we find out that she is smart and amazing and fantastic around the same time she does herself. I also love in the second film that she fights hard and finds away to fight animal rights for bruiser while staying true to herself. Her character was also a very strong and independent woman who wouldn’t back down from what she knew was right and also had good taste in fashion because why can’t you have both?

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