I’ve just started Crazy Ex-Girlfriend and I have finished Season 1 so there will be spoilers below for anyone who hasn’t watched it or isn’t this far.
Crazy Ex -girlfriend is a Tv show about a woman called Rebecca Bunch who is unhappy at her job and sees her ex boyfriend who is moving back to West Covina California and she quits her job and moves there too. Then through the season you see her trying various ways to get her ex boyfriend Josh to fall in love with her even though he has a girlfriend. So far I don’t relate to this part but hear me out.
In season 1 episode 8 we find out Rebecca is as her friend Paula puts it a level 5 mum pleaser. She spends the whole episode trying to impress her mum and prove to her that everything’s ok and she’s really successful when she does work at the small lawyer firm and live in a small apartment. I really relate to this. I relate to this but in the case of my granny. I have changed my whole personality when I am with her, I try to ignore her snipes and be nice and good and work my hardest even though she doesn’t care or think anything I do is important or worth anything.
I think most of us will stalk someone we like or used to like on social media occasionally to see what they’re up to or to see if their single if it’s a potential love interest but there aren’t many people who would move to their home town to be closer to them.
I relate to the way Rebecca beats herself up about things, and how she doesn’t really look after her mental health properly (so far). I had counselling (which I talk about in this post My experience of counselling) which helped but was only temporary because I have never done anything to help my mental health since leaving the counselling. Also if someone doesn’t talk to me or is annoyed with me or says something or is upset I beat myself up about it. I might cry in the toilets about it or disassociate and stare blankly or even stop myself from eating. These are unhealthy ways of dealing with mental health and just like Rebecca I just let it happen and never do anything about it.
The song ‘I have friends’ which crops up a lot I really relate to. I’m not sure why but it’s one where I think I have very few friends but they’re close friends but I have 3. Another song I really relate to is ‘You Stupid Bitch’ I want to sing it every time I hate myself or feel I’ve done something wrong or annoyed people. ‘I’m the Villain in My Own Story’ is not only a great song but also I can kinda see this in a less dramatic way being me. I never see myself being happy the way the princess gets to be or the hero gets to be. I don’t see myself being with who I fall in love with or get married or have children because I’m the villain in my own story and don’t deserve it.