Mental Health, Thoughts, Uncategorized

I’m so sad

I constantly feel like I’m bothering people by talking to them all the time or trying to arrange a time or place to meet up at. I never know why and I can never stop it, even rational thinking doesn’t seem to help stop myself feeling like this. I can’t help thinking people hate me if they suddenly message me something that sounds even a little different than normal. They could be tired or just having a bit of a bad day but instantly I think that they are annoyed by me and hate me.

I wish I could stop it but I don’t know how to.  I hate constantly feeling like this, I wish I could stop some how. I know it’s my mental health but I don’t know how to make myself feel better. I wish I could think rationally sometimes but I can never find the logic in my brain when I’m feeling like this. It’s hard constantly being in your own thoughts with no escape, no logical thoughts can break through all the anxious thoughts covered in self hatred. You’re friends try to help but only you can help yourself. Other people don’t get it and tell you not to stress or to calm down but as we all know that never helps, telling someone to get over it rarely helps them get over it.

I don’t know how to stop it. I give myself pep talks in the toilets, I try and calm myself with music and constantly tell myself over and over again that I am being silly and remind myself of all the rational and logical thoughts and hope that some how that helps in anyway. Sometimes it does and other times it doesn’t. I try to ground myself, read uplifting quotes anything to try and lift the fog of bad thoughts that cloud my mind.

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Fandom, Harry Potter, Mental Health, Uncategorized

Gryffindor With Anxiety

I am a Gryffindor….and I have Anxiety.

This shouldn’t work and I doubted whether I could truly be a Gryffindor when I am scared of so many things. But I remembered I stick up for people when they are being picked on. I always try and stand up for myself if I think someone’s being unfair. I’m not afraid to speak my mind when it’s needed.

But I can also be terrified to do the simplest of tasks; going to the bank, getting my hair cut and talking to certain people I know. However, even though I’m terrified to do these things I still do it. Some times courage and bravery isn’t just fighting for whats right and for justice, sometimes it’s fighting to stay alive and having the courage to do something even if it scares you. The little things can make you brave too.

Here’s a link to a post Buzzfeed did about Gryffindors with Anxiety and J.K. Rowling’s response to fans about this. Link here

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Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, Fandom, Mental Health, Uncategorized

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Mental Health

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend was written by Rachel Bloom who also plays Rebecca Bunch who is the main character in this TV show. She is dealing with a lot of mental health issues and I think it’s the first time I’ve watched a Tv show portrayal of mental health illnesses and thought it was true and could relate to certain aspects of it.

This post will have spoilers for Crazy Ex-Girlfriend Season 3. Don’t read any further unless you want Season 3 to be spoiled or you’ve watched it.

Continue reading

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Mental Health, Uncategorized

How to have a Me day

The most important thing to look after yourself is to have a me day. Whether you’re stressing at work, have mental health issues or don’t think you need one, me days are great and help you relax any way you want to.

People have me days all the time but two people’s ideas of a Me day may be very different and that’s ok. Just because your idea of a Me day is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

For my Me day I like to sometimes have a pj day and watch my favourite films and eat food I wanna eat like pringles and a box of chocolates. Other days a Me day is when I pamper myself, do the 3 minute self care hair mask, paint my nails, do that face mask I keep meaning to do and just make myself feel good. Another day it might be getting all dressed up and doing my hair and make up just to go for a walk and read my book.

A Me day is whatever you want it to be. The most important thing is to not worry about what other people do on their Me days because they are all individual to that person.

Below are some links to give you some ideas for your own Me days.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/12-ways-to-have-the-best-me-day-ever

https://www.wikihow.com/Devote-a-Day-to-Relaxing-and-Pampering-Yourself-at-Home

 

 

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Fandom, Mental Health, Supernatural, Uncategorized

Jared Padalecki isn’t perfect!

Jared Padalecki isn’t perfect…..and that’s why he has made such a big impact on myself and many others.

He has struggled with mental health. So many of us suffer from a type of mental health issue and even if we don’t we know someone close to us that does. So often people don’t address mental health and there’s a massive stigma about it. Instead of not letting the public know Jared shared not only his mental health issues he also started the ‘Always Keep Fighting’ campaign which also led to the ‘You Are Not Alone’ campaign and also a phrase which I have learnt to love ‘ Love yourself first’.

Not only has he admitted to his own mental health issues once, he has shared countless times his own struggles with his mental health. Every time he helps someone else. He used his mental health issues to not only raise mental health awareness but also to raise money for loads of people who need help.

I’ve been dealing with my mental health for 4 years now and when I first heard about the Always Keep Fighting campaign and found out one of my favourite characters in Supernatural was also dealing with his on struggles suddenly I didn’t feel so alone with all my problems. It also inspired me to start this blog so I could raise awareness about mental health and also hopefully make someone else feel less alone.

So Jared Padalecki may not be perfect but neither are we and that’s ok because we are still fighting everyday.

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Love, Mental Health, Uncategorized

I’m Scared

I’m Scared.

I’m scared to like you. I’m scared to fall for you. I’m scared you’ll hurt me.

But most importantly I’m scared I’ll hurt you.

My last boyfriend and I broke up because I had a mental break down during our relationship and I shut everyone out.

I’m scared it will happen again and I will ruin everything between us.

I’m scared I’ll break your heart and you’ll hate me, your parents will hate me and everyone at work will think I’m a horrible person.

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Mental Health, Thoughts, Uncategorized

Insecurities

I’m a 20 year old women and I have insecurities. We all do. There’s no exceptions.

I am very insecure about my neck I feel it is too long and my ex boyfriend used to comment on it all the time and make jokes about it which didn’t help. Then I realised I should love myself no matter what and got rid of him. I thought I was happy and not insecure about my neck anymore. Cut to 3 years later when a colleague comments on how my neck is quite long and that I’m a Giraffe and all the insecurities come flooding back in. My neck, my ears, my teeth, the bit of fat under my chin, my thighs, my stomach, my arms, my nose, the fat around my hip area. It’s all still there and it never leaves you. You think you’ve moved on from the hate and you love yourself but all you do is push down the feelings of insecurity and never deal with them until someone make a stupid comment on it and then it all bursts to the top again.

I really wish we could all love ourselves unconditionally no matter the cost and be happy with ourselves but unfortunately I don’t think that will ever happen. Society tells us we’re not good enough, people in our lives tell us we’re not good enough and the worst person in all of this ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough. When we look at ourselves in a full length mirror in the changing rooms, when we see our reflection in a car window, when our friend takes a selfie and they look perfect and you look not perfect.

We focus on all these little insecurities that feel so big and scary to us. We feel we’re not good enough or that we’ll die alone but that isn’t the case. We are all unique we are all our own little perfect beings in our own way and someone will see you and think that you are the most amazing person in the world and won’t care about your stretchmarks or that scar you hate or the fat in places you wish it wasn’t. They will love you for you and they will love everything you hate about yourself.

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