I went up to Newcastle last month to meet up with a guy I really liked. I also learnt a lot about myself.
I haven’t dated for 3 years since I had a mental breakdown halfway through my last relationship and have been scared it would happen again ever since. Not only that but I wanted to work more on myself and loving myself.
First of all, we met at work and had been speaking for roughly 5 months when I finally went up to meet him again. I was very nervous and anxious about getting the train up and then when it changed I was nervous about meeting him halfway. I was scared I would be annoying him in the car either by being super quiet or by talking non stop both of which I can do when I am nervous or panicking. He was lovely of course and the journey up went really well. I thought his parents wouldn’t like me even though nearly everyone’s parents who have met me have also liked me. They did like me and I worried for nothing.
Something that I found really interesting was that he is very much a person who likes to go out and do things I am more of a person who likes to be in their pjs and stay in. I thought this would be a problem but he was so sweet and made sure that I was 100% ok with going out somewhere and made sure that I knew I didn’t have to. However, even when I didn’t want to go out I said yes, not because I felt I couldn’t say no but because I wanted to push out of my comfort zone. Do you know what happened every time? I enjoyed myself so much every place we went even when it was late. I met all his friends that was a big step out of my comfort zone but they were all lovely.
The biggest lesson for me was that I stepped out of my comfort zone a lot but nothing bad happened. I forgot my coat and I got a little cold but it wasn’t the end of the world and nothing bad happened. I feel like I need to kind of just let things happen and not overthink every little thing all the time but I might enjoy it.