Thoughts, Uncategorized

Do you like me?

We talk all the time, we spent 4 hours talking on party chat! I really like you!

I’ve known of you for years but we finally met properly a couple of weeks ago. You’re really cute. I’d like to think of you as my friend but I also really like you.

You make me feeling happy and nervous and excited at the same time when we talk. You live miles away but yet it feels like you’re in the same town.

How can I know so much about you and yet feel like I don’t anything about you.

I wish I could know what you feel and how you feel.

Advertisements
Standard
Love, Thoughts, Uncategorized

If I could turn back time

If I Could Turn Back Time

If I could turn back time I wouldn’t have let him go. I would have held onto him as tight as I could and love him more than I ever did. I would have listened more and helped him with his problems more than I ever could. I would have pushed away my feelings of doubt or being scared to get too close. I would have talked more about how I felt instead of hiding away and pretending everything was ok. I would have done it all so differently but now I can’t because you’re gone and i’m left to pick up the pieces of my heart and rebuild my wall.

Standard
Thoughts, Uncategorized

Real Talk

I am a young women. I am described as skinny but I have rolls and areas of myself i’m not happy with. We all have areas of ourselves that we don’t like. I don’t like the fat on my hips or my stomach or my thighs.

However, I love myself. Rolls and everything else I am still me, my body is still mine. I have stretchmarks and scars but it shows my life and what I’ve been through.

I don’t want to have a daughter that grows up to hate herself and her body because our society tells them to.

You are perfect! No matter how big or small, how short or tall, what colour hair or eyes you have. You are unique and are the best you that you can be.

Standard
Thoughts

Survive

via Daily Prompt: Survive

Survive a simple word with a lot of hard work behind it.

To survive we need to eat, sleep, and stay dehydrated right? Super easy. No big deal.

Other people don’t want us to survive, other people want us to live, other people want us to feel more than just our standard days.

Some people barely survive each day due to their own struggle either mental and/or physical. Some people survive easily as if it came naturally to them everything they ever needed. But some people don’t even get the chance to survive.

What is survival? Is it having your basic needs and managing to get through every day. Is it living every moment to its fullest? Is it trying to break out of your mind every day just to locked back in again when night comes?

Do we want to survive? Were we even given the choice? Would we chose to survive if we knew everything that would happen to us in our lifetime the moment we were born? I think we would, we are curious creatures and it is in our nature to survive. Look at every terrorist attack we have and you will see people banding together to make sure the victims survive and that anyone involved survives because survival may not always be easy but it is necessary to make things better. The moment everyone gives up then no one truly survives.

Standard
Love, Mental Health, Thoughts

I just want to be loved

I just want to be loved…
I want someone to look at me completely in love with me. In love with my laugh, the way my nose scrunches if I find something particularly funny. The way I care about people. The way I try and show off a little when I haven’t seen people in ages. The way I try and feed everyone all the time, whether they’re sad, angry or even happy. The way I fall in love with chick flicks and get WAY too into the story.

I want someone to look at me and truly see me inside not what every mask I have up. Understand that I’m acting a certain way because of who I’m with, family, friends, you. Someone who understands that I’m confident with people I know really well but then freeze and shutdown a little with people I don’t know. That I don’t like answering the phone but that I will do it even if it terrifies me. That I can cook really well but I still need reassurance that I am doing it right.

That I may have days where I don’t want to talk to you and that it may hurt but I shutdown and can’t help. I want someone to understand when I’m having those days and when I’m struggling. I want someone to help me with the bad days and ride the good days with me.

………I just want someone

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

=]

Standard
Love, Thoughts

To My Crush

Hey,

I’m pretty sure you know I exist I mean I lent you that pencil in class…which you still haven’t given back but it’s ok you keep it I have plenty. I smiled at you as I gave you that pencil and you smiled back at me so it was worth it. I then gazed at the back of your head and thought about what we could talk about. Then class was over and I wouldn’t see you anymore that day. I said bye as I gathered up my things and you said ‘seeya’.

I friended you on Facebook, we have a group presentation to do. I added the whole group and created a group chat for the whole presentation. Even though I ended up doing most of the work. I gave you the easy job of printing photos for the poster we were presenting and you smiled at me making my heart melt. We had to present our poster and you stood next to me….there was no where else to stand but I knew you wanted to stand next to me.

I missed class because I was on a trip so I message you asking what I missed and if we had homework. You don’t know…you were ill. My whole conversation planned fell to pieces. We end up talking about wrestling which was interesting. You have a nice sense of humor. You make me smile. Oh you’re offline now…night I guess.

Then speaking to a friend I realised I was overthinking the whole thing. It was only a pencil. It was only a smile. It was only a friend request. It was only standing next to you. It was only a smile. It was only a conversation. It was only a smile. It was only a smile. It was only a smile!

Maybe one day I’ll speak to you properly and stop being weird in front of you overthinking every action when you’re with me.

Thank you for putting up with me

Dana.

Standard
Thoughts, Uncategorized

Why am I here?

Hi Guys,

Fun fact: only one person I know actually knows about this blog.

I am here on WordPress blogging publicly about my thoughts, fandoms and mental health because I wanted some where to express my thoughts and feelings about things but also some where I could express these thoughts to like minded people who weren’t people I knew first hand irl and wouldn’t judge me. I started off just wanting to share my experience of counselling but then I wrote about dealing with grief and it just got easier to write down my thoughts.

I would love to connect to people who share the same Fandoms as me, people who share some of the same feelings with me and mental health issues. I would love to think that at least someone has read my blog about counselling or my anxiety and that has helped someone to know that they are not alone because they aren’t alone ever. We are a community and if we all share these problems then I hope we can help each other too.

I currently write about a variety of different topics but so far they fall into four categories; Fandom, Love, Mental Health, and Thoughts. Fandom covers a lot of different Fandoms that I am a part of. Ones I have recently got into, ones I have been in for as long as I can remember, ones that have helped me with my mental health, and one I recommend to any and every one I can. Love covers Family, Friends and of course crushes. Mental Health covers not only my anxiety and depression but also any body issues or anything I deem as a symptom of or relation to mental health issues. Thoughts cover any thoughts that I have had and written down and found important to express but doesn’t fall into either of the other three categories and this could be random thoughts or meaningful thoughts.

Dana x

Standard