Mental Health, Thoughts, Uncategorized

I’m so sad

I constantly feel like I’m bothering people by talking to them all the time or trying to arrange a time or place to meet up at. I never know why and I can never stop it, even rational thinking doesn’t seem to help stop myself feeling like this. I can’t help thinking people hate me if they suddenly message me something that sounds even a little different than normal. They could be tired or just having a bit of a bad day but instantly I think that they are annoyed by me and hate me.

I wish I could stop it but I don’t know how to.  I hate constantly feeling like this, I wish I could stop some how. I know it’s my mental health but I don’t know how to make myself feel better. I wish I could think rationally sometimes but I can never find the logic in my brain when I’m feeling like this. It’s hard constantly being in your own thoughts with no escape, no logical thoughts can break through all the anxious thoughts covered in self hatred. You’re friends try to help but only you can help yourself. Other people don’t get it and tell you not to stress or to calm down but as we all know that never helps, telling someone to get over it rarely helps them get over it.

I don’t know how to stop it. I give myself pep talks in the toilets, I try and calm myself with music and constantly tell myself over and over again that I am being silly and remind myself of all the rational and logical thoughts and hope that some how that helps in anyway. Sometimes it does and other times it doesn’t. I try to ground myself, read uplifting quotes anything to try and lift the fog of bad thoughts that cloud my mind.

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Fandom, Harry Potter, Mental Health, Uncategorized

Gryffindor With Anxiety

I am a Gryffindor….and I have Anxiety.

This shouldn’t work and I doubted whether I could truly be a Gryffindor when I am scared of so many things. But I remembered I stick up for people when they are being picked on. I always try and stand up for myself if I think someone’s being unfair. I’m not afraid to speak my mind when it’s needed.

But I can also be terrified to do the simplest of tasks; going to the bank, getting my hair cut and talking to certain people I know. However, even though I’m terrified to do these things I still do it. Some times courage and bravery isn’t just fighting for whats right and for justice, sometimes it’s fighting to stay alive and having the courage to do something even if it scares you. The little things can make you brave too.

Here’s a link to a post Buzzfeed did about Gryffindors with Anxiety and J.K. Rowling’s response to fans about this. Link here

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My Bucket Lists, Uncategorized

My July Bucket List

Go to see the guy you like and have an amazing time seeing all the sights and spending time with him

Try not to stress about the little things

Try and appreciate the little things more or you’ll miss them

Remember your friends are the most amazing people ever and you don’t deserve them sometimes so be kind

Remember you are a beautiful young woman who still deserves things too

Don’t starve yourself

Look after your mental health even if that means talking to your friends about it, don’t shut people out. They can’t help if you never tell them.

Try and ignore little comments from your family, they won’t always be around and eventually you can move out and away from the toxicity.

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Thoughts, Uncategorized

Broken

Am I broken?

I get anxious all the time. I had to ask my friend to come with me to the hairdressers because I had only gone one time before with my mum. Normally the family friend comes down to cut our hair.

I’m scared to go to a nightclub. Loud music, Large crowds, Drunk people all things that trigger my anxiety and stops me from going to a plus all the people my age go to.

It used to stop me from answering the phone or going places by myself.

Am I broken? or is this just who I am?

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Thoughts, Uncategorized

Disappear

I wish I could disappear.

I wish it could be so easy to disappear. I like to think I wouldn’t miss my friends or my family or my crush. But I would. Even right now writing this alone with only the company of my cats I am missing my friends and my family. I would miss my cats! I think I would miss living much more than I tell myself I wouldn’t.

I would miss the summer breeze as I lay on the grass watching the clouds go by. I would miss the way the sun makes my freckles dance on my face. I would miss hearing the rain hit the roof as I read my book. I’d miss the butterflies you give me every time we talk. I would miss the way my friends and I talk and laugh without a care in the world. I would miss the pain of losing a loved one and feeling something so strong for even a second. I would miss loving someone, not only a crush but my family and the pride I have when I think of them.

Maybe I don’t wish I could disappear.

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Mental Health, Uncategorized

How to have a Me day

The most important thing to look after yourself is to have a me day. Whether you’re stressing at work, have mental health issues or don’t think you need one, me days are great and help you relax any way you want to.

People have me days all the time but two people’s ideas of a Me day may be very different and that’s ok. Just because your idea of a Me day is different doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

For my Me day I like to sometimes have a pj day and watch my favourite films and eat food I wanna eat like pringles and a box of chocolates. Other days a Me day is when I pamper myself, do the 3 minute self care hair mask, paint my nails, do that face mask I keep meaning to do and just make myself feel good. Another day it might be getting all dressed up and doing my hair and make up just to go for a walk and read my book.

A Me day is whatever you want it to be. The most important thing is to not worry about what other people do on their Me days because they are all individual to that person.

Below are some links to give you some ideas for your own Me days.

https://www.theodysseyonline.com/12-ways-to-have-the-best-me-day-ever

https://www.wikihow.com/Devote-a-Day-to-Relaxing-and-Pampering-Yourself-at-Home

 

 

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