Thoughts, Uncategorized

Real Talk

I am a young women. I am described as skinny but I have rolls and areas of myself i’m not happy with. We all have areas of ourselves that we don’t like. I don’t like the fat on my hips or my stomach or my thighs.

However, I love myself. Rolls and everything else I am still me, my body is still mine. I have stretchmarks and scars but it shows my life and what I’ve been through.

I don’t want to have a daughter that grows up to hate herself and her body because our society tells them to.

You are perfect! No matter how big or small, how short or tall, what colour hair or eyes you have. You are unique and are the best you that you can be.

Thoughts, Uncategorized


Hello. If anyone was wondering where I was for last month and a bit I’ve been dealing with the death of my grandfather and moving house. I’ll be carrying on posting again and hopefully I will be more organised with my posts and they will become more regular again.

Thank you to everyone who continues to read my posts and follow my blog. I really appreciate it and hope that you enjoy more of the posts going forward.

Thoughts, Uncategorized


What is Brilliant?

Brilliant is a description of something that is bright or shinning (to sparkle). Also it can mean very clever when describing a person.

Although we use to brilliant to describe many things. I use brilliant to describe a friend that’s brought me food or who helped with something that I needed.  Someone who can fix something at work that I couldn’t work out the problem with.

Other people may use brilliant to describe a film, a play, a piece of music/song, or even their day. Brilliant is used by many as a good description for something whether that is a person, a thing, or a moment.

I think many people in my life are brilliant, I think many books, films, songs are brilliant. I also have many brilliant moments in my life which I will treasure with me forever.


via Daily Prompt: Brilliant

Thoughts, Uncategorized

How to deal with Grief

My grandad died in December so I thought I’d tell you how I deal with my grief and how people can also deal with their grief and hopefully it helps someone.

The most important thing is let it all out. Express yourself however you need to, allow yourself to be sad, don’t try and numb the pain. You can cry, you can scream at the world but to be healthy you have to let it out. Don’t turn to alcohol, or any other substances.

Keep your routine the same, keep sleeping, stay healthy, eat regular meals. Don’t forget to eat or live while your grieving.

If you need help, don’t be afraid to get some help. Talk to your friends, family or even get counselling. Don’t hide away it won’t help. Talk to anyone you are not alone and it won’t help to shut yourself in and other people out. If you need to reach out, remember that you can.

Thoughts, Uncategorized

New Years Resolutions

  1. To take care of myself more, take time for breakfast, to paint my nails, to be able to take time to light a candle and read my book.
  2. Remember that self care is really important, don’t work yourself to the bone and forget to take time to look after yourself even if it’s to wash your hair and have a bubble bath.
  3. Remember that family is important and spend time with them while you can and anytime an opportunity arises.
  4. To swear less, it’s not needed and it puts people off. Especially when you move in with your granny, you won’t be able to swear there anyway.
  5. To spend time with friends but remember that it’s ok to say no too. Don’t focus on just making sure your friends are ok, remember that if you are sad or exhausted or ill that you are allowed to say no and meet up another day.
Mental Health, Uncategorized


Anxiety isn’t just worrying about an exam or being in crowds although that is anxiety.

Anxiety is crying over what to wear because it has to be perfect and nothing is perfect and you don’t what to do because you can’t mess up the day by wearing the wrong thing.

Anxiety is being so worried you’ll mess everything up for your family that you don’t even want to go to your grandads funeral.

It’s wanting to stay in bed and not move in case you make something worse or messaging your friends repetitively and then worrying that now they hate you so you apologise for being a nuisance and a pain and that you’ll stop bothering you because you don’t want to lose them.

Anxiety isn’t just worrying, it’s real, it’s not pretty, it’s not something you can romanticise. It hard, It’s sometimes feels like everything could go wrong or that you’re drowning in your feelings. Sometimes I feel like I can’t breathe. Sometimes I know that I’m being silly and worrying over nothing and it still doesn’t stop the worrying.

Thoughts, Uncategorized

To My Dying Grandad


I want you to know that you don’t need to be afraid or scared. I also want you to know that we all love you very much. I know that you’re in a lot of pain right now and you keep forgetting where you are but you’re home surrounded by the people who care about you. Granny is there and although she doesn’t know what to do to help because she can’t and she gets frustrated she does love you very much. We’re all dealing with this in different ways so people keep acting differently and worrying and arguing but you don’t need to worry about that. Nothing is your fault. Everyone will keep their happy thoughts with them when things get tough and when you pass we will be able to look back on all the good times.

I know you don’t believe in Heaven or any type of afterlife and I know that you’re scared your life will end and there will be nothing but you need to have faith and let yourself go. You can’t hang on any longer. This is painful for everyone involved and it will continue to be painful for us for a long time. Watching you deteriorate is something I wish I never had to see but also something that I will never have to see again. Watching you slowly become less like yourself and become someone who basically sleeps all the time and struggles to even drink is so heart breaking to see. Especially as only a month ago you were telling us that when you got better you would cook Christmas dinner. It’s heart breaking because you might not make it to Christmas and you definitely won’t get better and you know this. Every time you ask it breaks my heart because I know you will never get better and this is the end.

I wish I could take away your pain. I wish I could comfort you and stop you from being so scared. I wish I could help in some way one last time before you go but I know I can’t do any of those things. All I can do is count myself lucky for all the time I got to spend with you even if we didn’t always see eye to eye and we didn’t always like each other. The last five years have been hard but we have had a stronger bond as a result and I am so thankful for that second chance.

Thank you for being in my life and I hope your suffering doesn’t last too long.

I will always think of you fondly and of all the good times.

Your Granddaughter.