Love, Thoughts, Uncategorized


Hi guys,


I’ve been single for the whole of this year. My new year’s resolution last year  was to not date anyone this year. It helped take the pressure of constantly thinking you have to look for a guy. It helped me to focus more on myself but I am nowhere near the amount of self love I feel I need. I’m meeting up with a guy I think is quite cute to talk about life and what I could do after my apprenticeship next year. Once I told my guy friends they made jokes saying he just wants to get me drunk and try it on. This made my anxiety very bad and now getting ready to meet up with him I’m having a panic attack. I went to one of my friends I always talk to about my mental health and he just said if he kisses you go for it because why not. This didn’t help me. I’m still in a panic, I feel sick and don’t even want to go out. This is just supposed to be a friendly meetup to talk about the future and life after college. Even if he asked me out it’s not next year so I wouldn’t be able to anyway and I feel like I’m panicking for no reason. I am also worried about walking to and from the pub in the dark!!

My friend just left. We had the best time ever and I knew he wasn’t the type of guy who would be weird or only after one thing. We hung out at the pub for 3 hours, we went to mine and he transferred game of thrones while we watched a film. We talked about college, university, work, films I hadn’t watched and needed to watch. It was so great and I was panicking for nothing. He is an amazing guy and a great friend. And we’re gonna meet up again!!

Thoughts, Uncategorized

My New Years Resolution

Hi kittens,

I wasn’t expecting to make a New Years Resolution post but I think really it’s going to be a better year next year and I want to share my resolutions with you all.

So one of my New Years resolutions from last year was to not date anyone so that I didn’t have the stress of why haven’t I got a boyfriend or that I wasn’t constantly looking for a guy. Also that I wasn’t worried why I didn’t have a boyfriend. I took this year for self love. I went ok. I didn’t get I boyfriend and I wasn’t worrying about finding one although I did have to reject someone which I didn’t like doing and found awkward but he’s a nice guy and we are friends.

I have a cliché New Years resolution which is to join the gym with my two best friends. I wanted to join the gym last year but I didn’t have a job and then not everyone was 18 in the group of us so we decided to wait and now we all feel ready and it’s better than using our gym stuff at home and we get to do it together.

Another is to read one new book a month. This is because I have loads of books I bought because I wanted to read them and then never got round to it and reread Harry Potter instead. There’s nothing with rereading Harry Potter but as well as reading new books.

To have breakfast every day and not skip it. This is more a personal thing that I’ve never really had a regular breakfast in the morning and I would like to start because I feel like it would start me off for the day.

I want to eat healthier. I’ve improved the amount of water I drink but I would like to eat less crap and more meals that are healthier instead of like a tube of pringles because I’m hungry. Also I want to eat less ready meals, I managed to stop eating Rustler burgers and food like that. I have cut down the amount of takeaways I have to once every 2 months if that.

I want to swear less. I work in a workshop full of guys, we all swear….a lot. I swear the most all the time. I would like to tone down the amount I swear. I would also like to not swear in front of people younger than me and old people.

I want to push out of my comfort zone more even if it’s scary even if I’ve found more than 10 worst outcomes. I want to meet up with people I haven’t seen in ages and not panic and cancel because I’m scared. I don’t want to keep cancelling or saying I’m busy I just want to do it.

What are your New Years Resolutions and Why?



The guy I want….

I want to watch movies with the one I love and have cuddles

Someone to cry into when I need to let everything out and someone to cry into when the dog in the films die because that is the saddest

I want someone to listen to my rants, someone to have detailed and philosophical conversations at 2 in the morning. Someone who will stay up just to continue talking to me. Someone who thinks it cute when I start fangirling. Someone who looks at me the way I look at my cats and food

Someone who will put up with me being insecure and reassure me they still like me even if it’s the 50th time he has to do it. Someone just really gets that some days I need to be alone and other days I will cling to them and not want to be alone. Someone who doesn’t get annoyed with me for being me.

Some one to sing karaoke with me even if they can’t sing. Someone who will put up with me singing all the time. Honestly it never ends.

Someone to watch the sunset with me and the sunrise. Someone who takes a picture of the sunset knowing I’ve missed it because they know how much I love sunsets.

And of course I’d do the same for them