I’ve been single for the whole of this year. My new year’s resolution last year was to not date anyone this year. It helped take the pressure of constantly thinking you have to look for a guy. It helped me to focus more on myself but I am nowhere near the amount of self love I feel I need. I’m meeting up with a guy I think is quite cute to talk about life and what I could do after my apprenticeship next year. Once I told my guy friends they made jokes saying he just wants to get me drunk and try it on. This made my anxiety very bad and now getting ready to meet up with him I’m having a panic attack. I went to one of my friends I always talk to about my mental health and he just said if he kisses you go for it because why not. This didn’t help me. I’m still in a panic, I feel sick and don’t even want to go out. This is just supposed to be a friendly meetup to talk about the future and life after college. Even if he asked me out it’s not next year so I wouldn’t be able to anyway and I feel like I’m panicking for no reason. I am also worried about walking to and from the pub in the dark!!
My friend just left. We had the best time ever and I knew he wasn’t the type of guy who would be weird or only after one thing. We hung out at the pub for 3 hours, we went to mine and he transferred game of thrones while we watched a film. We talked about college, university, work, films I hadn’t watched and needed to watch. It was so great and I was panicking for nothing. He is an amazing guy and a great friend. And we’re gonna meet up again!!